


All You Do Is Love And Love Is All You Do

by something2119 (orphan_account)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Established Relationship, Fights, Fluff, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 11:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4744853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/something2119
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Haven't you seen the way I look at you? I fucking tried to show you, to show the world how deep you got me here Hemmings and you doubt my intentions? I fucking fought against the people who insulted you without second thought, I called you every night when we weren't next to each other, I let you to give me hickeys! It was me who always calms you down before going on stage, who is always ready to listen to you retelling some boring documentary you've just watched on Youtube, who never shits with you as hard as Calum or Ashton! It's me who calls both of our moms when you are sick, I called doctor when you had laryngitis, I helped you take your medicine when you couldn't remember! I carried you across the stage three days after spraining an ankle, it was me who called you sweaty angel! Me, I did it! Because I love you, you shithead who can't understand that people move on and fall in love again!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>in which Luke is Michael's love but being his former rebound makes him doubt everything</p>
            </blockquote>





	All You Do Is Love And Love Is All You Do

**Author's Note:**

> So I was listening to Michael Jackson and this sort of happened  
> I know this is long and weird as fuck but I hope you like it
> 
> Based on Cowboys & Angels by George Michael

Michael Jakson's voice echoed through the hallway.

It was late at night, they'd just come in the hotel after the concert, none of them feeling like partying tonight. They've just started the USA tour and their bodies were already used to small break they had and now jet-lag and a lack of sleep was something they needed to bring back into everyday routine. But they would be damned if it wasn't worthy. They have second album on the way, music videos to film, concerts to perform, music awards to attend and it was thrilling how only four years ago they were kids playing in the local bars trying to get some people to like them. Now they have millions of fans, who yes, sometimes crossed the line when it's privacy about, but they loved them the most. Even if they didn't tell them everyday or if Ashton doesn't upload videos as much as before. 

Music grew louder and Luke couldn't stand that anymore. He knew Michael still had lots of energy left from the concert and is spending it on virtual games, but he was really tired and wanted to get some rest that night. His band mate playing music in the middle of night didn't help it at all. Thanking management they got whole floor booked so no one could hear screaming "I'M BAD, I'M BAD" and maybe some child ending up scared, young male opened door of his hotel room while wearing some anime pyjama pants he bought in Japan, heading in a direction of his friend's room, which was on the other side of hall, the closest one to elevator. Walking half-asleep, blonde approached his best friend's door and knocked before coming in, letting his friend know he'll come inside, hoping he'd heard him.

Room older boy stays was in the dark, the only source of lightness being small lamp next to king sized bed, which was empty and messy, light blue linen on white mattress and sheets falling off the bed, edges barely touching the ground. There were clothes all around the room, along with few chargers, empty water bottles and slightly opened pizza box Calum left there last night. Pressed against the wall next to window that covered whole surface of it, sat his best friend, still wearing black shirt he wore at concert and in boxers he definitely stole from blonde, who stole them from Ashton. With laptop in his hands and his phone in speakers, male didn't hear or notice someone in the room. 

Walking past the pile of skinny jeans whole band threw in the corner, taller man stood next to his friend and slowly sunk to ground, trying not to disturb his friend's game, waiting for him to win or lose. It wasn't much late after when black-haired male paused the game and turned his attention to boy next to him.

"Hi." His said in his quiet tone and smiled at him. He tried to return smile, but honestly, he was too tired to even think properly.

"Hi. What's up with all this screamo music and waking the dead?"

Dark-haired man's facial expression changed, looking almost worryingly at other boy. "Shit, I woke you up, didn't I? Sorry I just wanted to listen to some music and play before going to bed and I guess I forgot about the time." For a moment he looked sadly at sheets that were slowly falling from the bed, but next he was already staring at Luke with his big, green milky eyes mumbling: "Can you forgive me please?"

And with that look he had tall boy on his knees, figuratively. He couldn't say no even if he wanted to. "Only if you let me cuddle you tonight." As soon as those words left his mouth, black-haired man's lips curved and the smile he had moment ago was back.

"Deal."

"But can you please turn down a little? If this keeps playing as it's now, Ash will wake up and then we'll have grumpy drummer and in the morning also a grumpy bassist."

"Nothing can wake that man up after a good concert." Michael commented, but nonetheless put laptop in Luke's lap and moved a little to turn off the music and pulled phone out of speakers. Turning around he switched laptop with phone and put Mac on his lap, letting younger man have his iPhone. It wasn't like he didn't know what he had in it, just too many selfies of Cashton, band, two of them, random photos Michael took of his parents, phone numbers of some people he didn't even know what to do with and few apps for music, photo editing and reading fanfiction. 

Typing a password on onyx-haired's phone (which is their birthdays combined) and watching his friend returning to the game, Luke turned on the same song older boy turned off, this time tune being as twice as quieter as before; music from 1980s, screams from game and their steady breaths being only sounds that filled the room. 

Scrolling through the album and looking for some good photo he could've posted on Twitter, blonde rested him head against the wall, waiting for his friend to finish the game so they can cuddle and fall asleep before dawn, when the certain green-eyed person usually went to bed after playing whole night the concert and then on his laptop and even sometimes on his phone before he would shower and finally crawl to bed smelling like lemon gel used and raspberry shampoo that helped his hair survive all dye changes he went through in the last few years. Such a weird mixture of two different fruit smells but fitting so perfectly, something so Michael and something so intimate. It is one of his favourite smells, along with all dishes his mother does, his room back home, Michael's man cave and the smell of babies.

Gazing at his best friend playing, blonde wanted to play with those black curls, but didn't, knowing how easily things like that distract older man which would make Michael annoyed or even angry and then they wouldn't cuddle and maybe would even end up fighting. He really didn't need another reason to fight with dark-haired person next to him, they've just made up not long ago and there was not need to shake the still ground. It was a habit of both of them, playing with each other's hair, fixing it during shows and massaging while being tired. 

Luke remembers when they were still small and didn't have their own band to open for them, when Ashton still wasn't in picture and having a drummer was just a nice idea, during the gigs they had, Michael's soft fingers moving his fringe from close to his eyes, out of his face and calming his wrecking nerves. He was thankful for then older boy just being there for him and Calum, making a silent promise of always taking care of them on which dyed-haired male had said he was the oldest of the group and had to look after them, because if he didn't, who would?

Michael cursed loudly, pulling Luke out of his flashbacking daydream and just stared at screen before clicking fast and closing the laptop, freeing it from all the wires and taking headphones that laid next to him. Standing up, pale boy put the laptop and all cables on the windowsill, gently positioning them in specific order that only he understood and turned around, walking around the room and rearranging piles of clothes on the floor and bed, taking the boxers that probably belonged to Calum and Blink-182 shirt Luke left the night before in his hands, before looking up from the mess he created, staring at his best friend.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he said quietly and winked at younger man before turning in direction of hotel room's bathroom, locking the door behind as he entered. 

Pushing himself off the ground, tall blonde slowly stood up and put Michael's phone on the nightstand next to lamp and began picking the clothes, not being able to discern what pieces were clean and what were dirty, seeing most of it was stolen or borrowed from other members, mostly pieces being his own ones. Usually Michael would pick clothes he'd left all over the room or tour bus, and even though it was not a habit of his to clean after himself, Luke wanted onyx-haired to find the room in at least somewhat decent state, fearing older male would still be pissed because he lost the game even after he took a shower. Besides, Michael cleaned the last few rooms two of them shared and he had a need to return the favour.

Finding the last visible piece of clothing, boy threw everything in smaller male's suitcase and after not being able to zip it, he pushed it back on the ground. The hardest part was yet to come. Making bed is the thing none of them is able to successfully accomplish so he really tried to put sheets, linen and pillows all together, hoping it would look like a ready to sleep bed environment in the end. 

He didn't make the bed like he wanted it to end up, but he was tired and gave up, jumping on surprisingly soft matress and covering his head with thin sheets, not even bothering with the fact his legs hung off the bed. A sound of doors opening made him move the material off his face and look at tall pale man wearing an oversized black shirt that fit perfectly to owner and smiling, making the blonde relieved and offering a shy smile in return.

Soon, a pair of cold legs moved next to his warm ones in bed and Luke felt arms wrapping around his waist, not looking up from the black-haired man even for a second. Blond wiggled closer to the edge of bed, making a more space for the other male and pulling him closer to himself. 

"Hi." He whispered the moment their faces were just a hand away, close enough to feel each other's breaths. Michael blinked, suddenly moving his hands from the younger boy's waist, to the back of his neck, soft fingers barely touching the skin and curling around long blond locks, soft smile never leaving his features. His black hair was spread on the pillow, tickling Luke's temple skin. Blonde closed his eyes and partly hid his face in the softness of pillow, gesture reminding of an infant trying to move away from people's tickling hair. 

Michael laughed, almost soundlessly, the affection he had for person next to him radiating off him. Elevating his head a bit, dyed-hair male left a kiss on younger man's forehead before returning to position has was a second ago.

Next moment blond moved his head just a little and carefully looked back, enjoying what older male did and not wanting to stop touching his hair, not expecting the gaze he held on the blonde still on. 

"Hi", Luke whispered back through the pillow, silence and even bigger smile than he had before being a greeting answer. He couldn't believe how beautiful was the man he looked at. From the moment he saw then taller blonde with long fringe, he knew there was something about him, an intrigue that made him want know more about him than having cool Calum Hood as a best friend and even cooler hairstyle. 

Never did he expect that interest to grow this great, to become this wish, this urge, this feeling, to give the older boy the world and gift him the stars and kiss all the worries away, to listen to his laugh and feel complete proudness and happiness knowing that this is him, his person, his best friend, someone he dreamt about last. 

Sleepy creamy light green eyes continued to look at him, smile never fading off dark-haired's face. Younger male lift his hand from paler boy's torso and gently put it on his cheeks, touching the short stubble older refuses to shave, moving long fingers up the line of a jaw, circling them in a relaxing manner, going up to the eyebrow piercing, the one he loved to pull sometime, until he felt a rough line in between brows, a scar people made fun of and dyed-haired hated which Luke couldn't understand because it was so small and cute, fitting Michael's face perfectly. 

Blonde stopped for a second, watching back-haired facial expression, smiling when the other stared at him and curved the edge of his lips, giving him permission to continue touching on his face. Next seconds fingers moved down the line of brows, before ending at the last hair and continuing on the barely visible but still noticeable pink part of face, a faded burn mark pale male received not long ago as a consequence of irresponsibility of their management and when he almost lost his eyesight. Blue-eyed remembers the worry and fear he felt for his best friend when his face caught on fire, confusion of people in the crowd and running backstage and explaining everything to Michael's father, how he wanted to cry while watching his love being carried away with paramedics and how happy he was when two of them met few hours later in a hospital, knowing in what danger older boy was.

Feeling taller male's fingers hovering over the skin of mark left on his face forever, green-eyed flinched, still being able to feel pain on a spot fire burnt the skin the most. He made a terrible mistake of walking on fire, even though it wasn't his fault pyrotechnics were put the way they were, dangerously exploding close to an end of stage, just lurking him to approach. It hurt, so much that he squeezed his father's hand when doctor wrapped bandages around his head and told him they won't be able to give him pain medicine before they can confirm fire didn't burn feel nerves in skin. Physically he recovered in a spam of days. Emotionally, he was still recovering. No matter how many times Luke would kiss him and kiss pink spot below his temple, Michael refused to believe he was still beautiful and his body was still perfect, scars just showing how much he's been through, what a fighter he was. 

Stars couldn't compare with how beautiful boy next to him was. His sun and his moon, the one he always wished for and never thought he'd actually get him, a love that unexpectedly fell into his life, the one he hoped would never leave him. 

Being the cliche sap he was, young man turned and pushed the shorter male closer to him, tangling his hand in black hair, not wanting to stop looking at the beauty in the bed with him and lowered his head, kissing the soft lips he sometimes never wanted to stop being on his. Kissing him slow, onyx-haired stared at impossibly blue eyes of his lover before resting his gaze on cheeks he touched equally as much as blonde touched his. It was a moment of simple intimacy, a kiss between people that loved each other, a kiss no one beside them needed to know about, a kiss after what were no words needed. 

Moving his head just a bit away, blonde breathed in loudly and tightened grip on his love's waist and went back to smiling lovingly. Michael laughed, still not being used to anything so intimated that revolved around just the two of them. 

Luke just stared at him. "You were great tonight", he spoke softly, adjusting his head on the pillow and moved his fingers down the base of older male's neck, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"So were you." Black-haired said, moving closer to the young boy, his forehead touching soft hairs of blonde's smelling and thick hair.

"I mean it. I don't know what happened but this tour is..." Blonde stopped himself, looking for a word that would describe exactly what he means. "Different. In a good way, 'f course. I don't know if it's because this time we have people to open for us instead of being reverse, because we're older or just something inside us, but things are quite different from how they were last year, or even at the begging of year, but I know it's better, better than it was ever before and in the moment this is all I wanna do, for the rest of my life."

"Same." Michael agreed, his eyes blinking slowly in the sleepy way, not stopping to look at boy beside him for a second. "Can't believe three years ago we were bunch of children hoping their EP will be sold enough to get some bigger gigs. If someone told me then I'd be living life I have now I'd laugh in their face and say there's a bigger chance of Elvis Presley being alive than us getting this lucky."

"Don't forget your hair."

Michael rolled his eyes and half protruded his tongue, glancing at the ceiling for a second, moving his fingers up to hair close to Luke's ear. "I'm not bald, stop wasting your time on crap fandom does."

"Yet", Blue-eyed muttered against pale man's jaw, feeling with his nose the lips he kissed not long ago, sighting aloud as the older male massaged his hair with his forehead. 

"Shut up!" 

Dark-haired man whisper-cried through the other man's hair, Luke's tight grip on his waist preventing him to roll them over and start tickle him for making fun of his hair. It was still nice after all colours and bleach he went through, tall male even dyed it himself, so why mock him now.

Luke laughed, kissing a lukewarm skin sometimes he couldn't stop nor want to stop kissing. He loved how things were between them, teasings and arguing in front of everyone, debating in front of friends, passively writing songs for the other half of band and small talk in the early morning, only for two of them. It's been so long like this and wouldn't wish for things to change. Okay, maybe he did want some tiny change in one part of their relationship, but he knew it was impossible so he forgot thinking about it.

Suddenly, his eyes felt heavy and bed was so comfy, there were hands playing with his hair and he had body keeping him warm, warmer than he already was and he thought why not, closing them and drifting fast to sleep.

"Night." He mumbled in soft skin, not hearing the older boy saying it back and falling asleep.

 

~

 

Ashton and Calum decided to go on one of their bro dates, probably to meet some of their friends or some celebrity they haven't met before and make both Michael and Luke go nuts from the amount of repeating of the story. Not that natural blondes minded. 

It was a late afternoon, sun was still creeping in the back of their rooms and sky never looked bluer than it did in that moment. Luke was laying on the small couch of their tour bus, with earphones he stole from Ashton on, listening to their upcoming album and preaching the Heavens for being in such talented band. The world was their and he knew how much hard work was put in it, from the lyrics written in a velvet morning after coming home from another pointless party, kisses so deep people would die for, old albums none of them will even get bored of, and things fans said over the social networks, to the guitars specially used for making new melodies. Satisfaction was able to be felt in his blood, everything was good and he hoped it'd get even better than it already was.

List he was listening wasn't the newest, there were some songs that didn't end up on the final selection but he was still listening to them. Second album needed to show they are continuing to be who they are and some songs just didn't give off that feeling Another song started playing and male's eyes widened, completely forgetting about it, pain flashing through blueness in them. It was one of put aside works, being too impersonal and too dark to fit into an idea four of them had in mind, even though the new album was more serious than the first one, it didn't end up on album setlist. He couldn't blame anyone, it was lyrically deep and maybe too sad for sappy love song. 

He wanted to skip the song and listen to something more cheerful, but, he couldn't. There was too much similarities and he was too deep tangled in its meaning that he couldn't get out of it. Michael's soft voice began bitter melancholy that filled his heart, mind and soul, reminding him why the song was out. He wanted to curl in fetus position and ignore the words he somehow knew too well and pretend how he's not feeling it. But he is. Instead of crying over dumb song and even dumber feelings, blonde just laid on his back with eyes wide open, empty gaze creepily reminding of the look of dead.

Maybe it is stupid to still be that emotional over things that happened so long ago, but he couldn't help himself. The way things started is not how he wanted, but they did and simple doubts couldn't leave his mind.

Months ago, Michael fell for someone. No one knew who or how, but it was obvious the way he blushed randomly or told everyone to shut up and started writing songs in some night hour. It didn't last long, but he fell hard and too fast. The night it ended he appeared on Hemmings' doorstep with red face, dried tears on cheeks and without any bracelet on his hands, throwing himself in Luke's arms and weeping his soul out, mumbling incoherent words he wasn't able to understand except "it's over" and "gone, gone". Luke held him close and pulled him under the sheets of his childhood bed and let him cry until both of them fell asleep. Next nights weren't much different. He would cry at night, into his best friend's chest, not explaining too much, just saying how much his chest hurt and he had trouble breathing which wasn't surprising considering the amount of tears he shed. 

Luke has never seen his friend in that state, crying so much, crying over a person he trusted so much, person who crushed that trust and threw it away. One night they were on a walk, he didn't know what to do with his best friend anymore, Calum gave up trying to help him and left him recover on his own, Ashton being pushed aside by Michael himself. Blonde was the only one whom he trusted to enough to tell him just some things, barely to understand the whole story. They were walking past the park three out of four members first met after agreeing on doing Youtube covers together, sitting on the swings when green-eyed did something not so smart and quite irresponsible, kissing his best friend, as if nights ago he hadn't come crying over his broken heart. He needed to forget, he wanted to forget, so he created a distraction by kissing younger bandmate sometime. It was a rash decision that could've ended with the unimaginable consequences and still can. 

Time went and he noticed how things have changed. There were not tear stained pillows, no midnight talks in other beds, no inconceivable words one had to understand, no random phone calls at 2 am, they got replaced with a drool stained borrowed shirt, regular morning snapchats, hickey covered shoulders and sweet promises just two of them knew about. 

But sometimes he still couldn't and not to be sad, feeling used because he was his best friend's rebound and he loved him the way he couldn't even express. He knew Michael loved him too, but those little dark doubts easily found their way creeping into his mind and made him rethink is it really the love or love out of pity. He couldn't not to doubt that green-eyed male just wanted to thank him for being distraction for so long or that he felt like he owed him because Michael was there for him after the break up with Aleisha and because years after he let him kiss him even though someone else was on his mind. He couldn't suppress these thoughts, not when he didn't know where he was, were they in serious relationship or just fooling around 'till both of them end up with a heartache. Was he asking for too much when he wanted to be absolutely sure he was making feel beautiful boy the way he wanted to, is he the one he'd kiss when being sick and not caring a bit and knowing Luke is his and he is Michael's. 

The second song changed and as Fly Away came on, certain colourful man entered room, drinking chocolate milk from a straw and scrolling on his phone, his eyes covered with sunglasses and singing The 1975's Sex, loud enough for nineteen year old to hear through the earphones. Watching his best friend walking around tour bus, Luke turned on his right side of body, just being curious himself and wanting to stare at other man. Michael threw milk package in the trash, carefully watching if it landed in paper or plastic box and then turned around, putting glasses on the desk, still with his precious gadget in his hand and signing song, not noticing other band member few metres away from him. 

His phone almost fell on the floor and dyed-haired male screamed, resulting in Luke cursing whole band twice and Michael finally realising his best friend is in the bus too. Younger boy put earphones next to his arm and just stared at green-eyed man who stared at him back.

"Jesus Michael was that really necessary?" He asked in a loud voice.

Michael approached him in a fast rhythm and sat on the edge of sofa next to his lover, looking at him with slightly sad expression. "Sorry, sorry. Didn't know you were here. Sorry again." Apologising, he quickly kissed younger man's shoulder and almost jumpy moved from couch, walking in direction of the bunk beds area and taking his phone and earbuds along. Luke just stared as the older man walked away from him, straight of out his sight and singing taller boy's Permanent Vacation part, randomly adding drumming parts at the end of lines.

How could that creature not be beautiful? Michael may have called him a sweaty angel but real angel in disguise was him, with personality many people are jealous of, smile so perfect that will make the saddest person happy, even for a moment and such talent he couldn't believe someone can have. He might have written third line in Wrapped Around Your Finger, but Luke likes to think it wasn't about just someone, rather about other boy, who literally made him think of his life as a postcard. What a coincidence that song was, he couldn't believe. What makes it more surprising is a know that they weren't even together then, it was barely a time when he realised how he didn't care who attracted him and when green-eyed admitted he was tired of random hook-ups, them using their and Ashton's past experiences for the song because it was the easiest way to continue inspiration flowing.

He truly hoped they won't end up as in the song. Since they only had the inspiration from broken relationships, song was destined to be heartbreaking and talking about one. Maybe it is a love song, but it is also the song about ending of relationship that was thought it would last more than it did. Band went through too many shits to now have two heartbroken members whose heartache is caused by the each other. It would kill him if the whole thing was just a pity party that went too deep and he knows he wouldn't be able to look in Michael's eyes ever again even though they would remain as the band members and co-workers, partners in their musical career. It seems like everyone he loved this way end up loving him wrongly, not the way he did. Jet Black Heart didn't help either.

Minutes or moments later he got up and stretched his body, laying on the small couch that his mom fit, not him, was the mistake he repeated more than once and turned around, craving for some socialisation, and the closest and one of his favourites was not far away from him, in the sections of band's bunk beds, or so he hoped. Barefootly walking around the bus, male surprisingly found his best friend sitting leg-crossed on the floor, back against the wall and the edge of his bunk, scrolling on his phone and smiling at something.

"What are you smiling at?" 

Sudden silence's breaking made onyx-haired male looking up with a scared gaze, only to return smiling at the screen the moment he realised who stood at the doorstep. His hair fell in front of his face and blue-eyed was surprised how he was able to see with such distraction in front of his eyes. 

As Luke walked towards paler boy, Michael answered in high-pitched tone: "Just reading some things fans wrote about Ashton and Bryana. They're so sweet."

"Yeah? That's good. Glad to know they're so supportive." Blonde smiled for a second, standing next to older man, leaning on the edge of his bunk, looking down at other boy's phone.

"They are great. Look, this girl begs Bryana to leave Ashton for her." Green-eyed read out loud as he scrolled through the posts fans published on the social sites, furrowing eyebrows reading some in confusion, some stuff wasn't even understandable to him, then laughing at something. "Fucking Cashton." He mumbled, not moving his gaze off the phone's bright illuminated screen.

With back against the empty space and wooden upper bunk bed, tall blonde smiled, just observing his older lover and how he reacted at the things he read, how it took no long to make him laugh, how he frowned at mean stuff written and how he chuckled when something sexual came on. Watching him interested in what people thought about their lives reminded him why he choose his job for his whole career. It wasn't just adrenaline they got after stepping on a stage or night spent talking to some great artists to write a new masterpiece, it was also a happiness they created with their music and the impact they had on younger and older generations, knowing they succeeded in changing someone's life through the melody. 

Too caught up in his own thoughts and daydreamy staring, blue-eyed didn't notice his best friend logging off everything except Twitter and Tumblr, slowly stretching his hands in the air, intertwining them with a heard knuckle cracking sound. Bone cracking alike sound snapped boy out of his deep thoughts and brought back to reality, where boy with a black hair leaned against his bunk, to help his tall body get up after sitting on the floor for a while and stood up, one of his hands on the younger male's bed and other holding his iPhone. There was barely a space between two boys until tattooed man crashed into his best friend, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head in the crook of blonde's neck, taking him by the surprise, seconds before warmer arms wrapped around his neck and lips touching his neck. Moving his head from Luke's shoulder, Michael kissed up other boy's neck a few times until two of them were staring at each other and older guitarist kissed lead singer's cheek, his nose, his forehead, then his other cheek and at the end, his lips.

Kissing his lover dirty blond-haired left feeling like the luckiest man alive, because this beautiful person is right here, in his arms, proving him his doubts were uncalled for and he didn't have to worry about anything. But doubts fought back and they weren't letting him being loved this time without rethinking everything twice, from their start days to present moment, where he is falling deeper than he had ever thought it was possible and burying himself in the ashes of his soul. Was it too much for ask to be free of worrying for a night and live for a moment and let be loved like he wanted? What he feels is deeper than crushing on someone, deeper than horny touches, deeper than falling in love, it's just love. He loves Michael as the year nine enemy, as the best friend, as the band member, as his another brother, as the partner in crime, loves him as the lover. Sometimes that seems too much, just how you can love one person in so many ways, but that relationship beneath relationship shows how you care for someone and how love is precious.

Pulling away, blue-eyed man noticed how male in his arms still smiled so bright and it was impossible not to smile back. Closing his eyes and lowering his head on warm and soft shoulder, male felt arms slowly massaging his lower back through the singlet he wore. It was a comfortable moment, with protecting and relaxing touches, nothing beside that mattering right then. 

Hands elevated and continued to massage shoulder-blade part of the back. He felt breath on his head, above his right ear. "I love you, so much." Michael spoke, barely louder than a whisper but firmly enough for younger boy to understand.

"Would hope so." Luke mumbled in soft neck, tone of his monotone and low, catching his best friend's attention, immediately. His whole body stiffened and for a moment there was no movement made. Suddenly there weren't arms around back, no soft breaths tickling and no steady heartbeats, just unreadable glare and hands running through messy dark hair.

"Luke."

Michael's voice was low and stern, reminding the blonde of times he wanted to scream his soul out how hurt and angry he was because of the older high school enemy. Luke didn't know how what exactly did he say to trigger this acting.

"What?" He asked as dark boy's gaze fell on the floor, just staying there looking at him. He wanted to know, confusion was the main emotion filling his mind at the moment. "What?"

Pale male's head snapped and in next second his greyish green eyes were staring directly in other man's blue ones. "I thought by now you'd realise how much I care about you, it seems your thinking hasn't changed in months we've been together." He answered, not breaking the eye contact.

Finally, younger man understood.

"Michael." His voice is low but whiny, his eyes still filled with sadness and doubts. He looked up, at the ceiling, just to look everywhere but into beautiful eyes that made him spill all the secrets he keeps. It didn't last long, though, because invisible magnet that attracted them made him change his gaze from up to right in front, someone so intimate to him someone wouldn't believe.

Black-haired moved away from other boy and turned around, his eyes closed and his forehead touching the wood of upper bed, putting his arms under his forehead. "What? Why still after all this time?" Sight in front of young singer was heart-breaking, his best friend hiding his face from him and sounding like he was between being on the verge of tears or screaming. He breathed in loudly, slowly elevated his head and looked around the room until he gazed at tall blonde, blinking rapidly. "Why?"

Thing was, Luke have already told Michael about everything he felt towards him. From the pain in his chest when older man showed on his doorstep in the middle of night, songs he would dedicate to him every time again if he asked to, happiness that consumed him after meeting in post break time, to satisfaction that pumped through his body after kissing him, pain that appeared after seeing through what he went and doubts he just felt sometimes when remembering how they began. He told him everything and his best friend listened, listened to every word until there wasn't anything to listen and he promised him he had no reason to doubt what they have, what they feel. He gave him his word, kissed him and showed him how deep meaning his whispers had. Michael thought he'd believed him and that he knew how he has him.

That beautiful man just stared at him, his baby-like eyes looking through him and thumb of his left hand massaging his eyebrow and eyebrow piercing, trying not to show what impact this confession had on him. He loved younger man and he though he knew that, he was sure the last time they talked about this made every uncertainty in taller male's mind fade away, he swore the truth he confessed.

Though, blue-eyed boy still let his mind doubt everything, to play with his body and touch his feelings, slowly breaking all belief he built while listening his lover sing. He knew how serious this all is, to both of them, how he gave himself without thinking, stupidly and recklessly, as if his actions didn't have consequences he has to pay now for. One of the most important people in his life is staring at him, pleading with their look for a proper answer, the one that won't be heart-aching.

"I-" He tries to explain that, how he loves him and just can't be sure, but before he even got a chance to respond, Michael cuts him off, blinking for a second and looking down before glaring at him again.

"Do you not think I don't love you? Because I do! I told you so many times, on so many occasions! I told you the day I promised we're going in serious waters! I told you after we revealed to everyone about us, your family, my family, guys, management, friends, some really irrelevant people, you know I did! I told you before paramedics took me to hospital, I fucking told you after some haters spread hate on you on social networks! I was there to tell you how much this is real after week we spent away on two different continents, it was me who cuddled you and whispered how much you have me when you couldn't sleep, me, me, always me telling you those three words and you still can't believe me!"

Luke wished he could control his feeling, so he didn't have to be this close to his lover and wanting to cry because he loved Michael so much but after all, he was his rebound, then everything else. Onyx-haired voice grew louder with each voice he spoke, hurt and disbelief heard as he approached to taller male, one of his hands firmly gripping on the board of bunk and other rotating his eyebrow piercing in every direction possible.

"Haven't you seen the way I look at you? I fucking tried to show you, to show the world how deep you got me here Hemmings and you doubt my intentions? I fucking fought against the people who insulted you without second thought, I called you every night when we weren't next to each other, I let you to give me hickeys! It was me who always calms you down before going on stage, who is always ready to listen to you retelling some boring documentary you've just watched on Youtube, who never shits with you as hard as Calum or Ashton! It's me who calls both of our moms when you are sick, I called doctor when you had laryngitis, I helped you take your medicine when you couldn't remember! I carried you across the stage three days after spraining an ankle, it was me who called you sweaty angel! Me, I did it! Because I love you, you shithead who can't understand that people move on and fall in love again!"

Two boys stood opposite each other, close enough to feel each other breaths and to both feel strength of black-haired words. 

Silence fell for a moment, until he spoke again, this time voice almost as quiet as whisper. "I'd have taken that fire for you if it was you, not me getting in the flames, I would. So tell me. Do you love me?"

There wasn't doubt about that and he know that. Younger boy may have doubted many things, but this one will never. "You know I fucking love you, so so much." He said, looking directly at deep eyes that stared at his neck. Both of his hands found their way in his now messy blond hair.

"Good. I love you so so much too."

Green eyes looked at his blue ones, only for a second after what they returned observing his pale neck.

"I am just scared that you'll realise what you feel is just pity because I was your shoulder to cry on and person who let you share the bed when I needed you the most, and that it's all based on feeling of owing and sympathy, not soul crushing. Sometimes I feel like you don't know how to thank me for everything so you decided to love me." He tries to explain everything once again, to show why he still feels like this, why they run this conversation again.

Hand that was formerly on wooden board was now close to his hands still pressed against the scalp. There was a thin pause and Luke thought Michael is going to turn around and leave everything unsettled, but then voice that came seconds later proved him wrong. "If I wanted to thank you, I'd buy you a signed album or whatever, not date you, you weirdo."

"I don't know. Could never be sure." He admitted as Michael stared at him unamused.

"Yes you can, because we had this conversation before and I feel like I need repeat myself." Green-eyed said as he moved blonde's hands from his hair and held them in his own as he looked at taller boy. "You don't know how much you mean to me. You are one of the most important things in my life, along with mum, dad, Cal, Ash and our music."

Dirty blonde looked from warm hand that didn't let go of his, to the eyes that he could've bet stared at his soul.

"I know I mean a lot to you. You mean everything to me, you know that. But, am I yours in the way you are mine?"

"You have part of my soul, just as I have part of yours." Michael said seriously, not taking his eyes off Luke's, his hands finding their way down blonde's waist. He smiled and blonde wanted to cry because he is so fucking lucky and he refuses to believe this was the person he hated with years ago. He smiled back and black-haired kissed him, showing him he meant every word he said out loudy.

Later, they would cherish moments like this because soon everything ended up in flames and smoke.


End file.
